Goal Setting and Goal Getting
Today we are going to have some fun with letters of the alphabet (move over Sesame Street) as a means of understanding the difference between goal setting and goal getting.
Just to be different, we will pick the letter “D” and start with that. The anally retentive amongst us will hyperventilate and blanch, but hey, you only live once, so let’s get edgy.
The D words are design, desire, default, doubt, determinant, due diligence and detachment
The concept I am going to throw out there is to live your life by design rather than by default.
When I design my life, I am stating to the Universe and all who dwell in it that I do not and will not accept an existence by default.
In other words rather than allowing circumstances to influence and impact my future, I am self –directed and definitely self-determinant.
This means that sometimes we go against the trend or the common herd instinct (I can picture in my mind a posse of lemmings marching over the edge of a cliff when I write this).
This means being unpopular and defying the general consensus of opinion.
This means rocking the boat.
When we consciously design our lives, we experience within our soul and spirit an awakening, a very strong desire for “something” that gives meaning to our lives. This may be a Catch 22 situation if you argue that an awakening of our soul and spirit is the impetus for consciously designing our lives, but I digress.
This “something” is intangible but irresistible and goes beyond being a passing whim. I interpret a passing whim as a musing, for example “wouldn’t it be nice if I had a another pair of shoes to go with this new sun dress”.
Let’s take for example wanting to improve our lives and those of our loved ones. With our newly found burning desire for a better life we do our due diligence and that includes exploring the various methods of wealth creation (all moral, ethical and legitimate, of course).
Whether we start a business, or enrol in a stock market trading course (yes, there are socially responsible companies out there) or sign up for college to get the qualifications for a promotion, we require of ourselves persistent application of effort. Just thinking about it won’t cut it. This kind of stuff really requires repeated action.
The burning desire fuels the daily application of productive action that is the perfect antidote for occasions when we are faced with doubt.
Doubt can be insidious, and it certainly gives our self-belief a run for its money. The glum times will come, the feeling that you are pushing the proverbial uphill with only the tip of your nose on a rainy day will rear its ugly head.
Pretending that it doesn’t or won’t happen is asking to be blindsided.
How do we prepare for this?
By practising detachment and yes, I can hear a collective groan when I say this.
I know it isn’t the most natural reaction, and certainly not the easiest thing to do. But when we are so attached to the outcome, it falls into the category of the “try hard and needy” type of behaviour.
Remember your high school days where there were the cool kids and then there were the desperate and dateless (said with tongue firmly in cheek).
The strategy is this: You have to assume the persona of one of the cool kids as opposed to the angst ridden try harder types.
Letting go of the outcome is the secret to this exercise. Rather than chase and stalk your goal, allow what you desire to come to you.
This was the conclusion I came to recently when everything I did felt like I was hitting my head against the sharp edge of a brick wall. It felt really good when I stopped and stilled my spirit.
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
Retirement: What happens after the farewell speech and gold watch gift
I was speaking to this lady in her mid 50s the other day about her retirement plans.
“Retirement, what retirement?” she snorted.
No, sir-she was launching herself into a new home based business after spending a better part of 30 years as a cog in the wheel of a giant multi national corporation.
The first thing that struck me was that her attitude of “let’s get going on something new” as opposed to some people who view retirement as buying a one way ticket to the morgue.
What a refreshing way to see the rest of her life as one filled with new possibilities and potential.
But, with a bit more conversation, I picked up on the language she was using. Most people would not notice this however, she spoke of success in her new business in terms of “if I get x number of clients” rather than “when I have x number of clients”.
Subtle but this is the difference between growing a successful business and crossing your fingers and hoping for the best.
I asked if she’d ever read the book “Prince Charming Isn’t Coming” by Barbara Stanny. There is this funny/ironic line where it states that a man is no financial plan.
That raised a wry smile from this recent retiree.
Barbara in this book asks you to examine your beliefs about money and here was a classic case of a woman who had modeled her money beliefs on her upbringing.
No prizes for guessing that her father had controlled the finances and by default controlled the family. Women were left out of the decision making process and that had adversely impacted her general view of life and relationships.
The good news is that it is not too late to review and revise your view of handling money, but this time from an emotional perspective.
Your emotions will either help or hinder (read self sabotage) your efforts at building a thriving and successful business.
I have included a short list of 5 books that are educational (without being dry and hard going) and inspirational.
Remember, you can do a lot more good for your family, friends, church and community when you are wealthy. It is not a sin nor is it a crime to be prosperous.
1. Prince Charming Isn’t Coming, Barbara Stanny (Penguin Books)
2. Secrets of Six Figure Women, Barbara Stanny (Harper Collins)
3. Millionaire Women Next Door Thomas J. Stanley (Andrews McMeel Publishing)
4. Rich Woman (Because I Hate Being Told What To Do) Kim Kiyosaki (Rich Press)
5. Aspire (Discovering Your Purpose Through the Power of Words) Kevin Hall (William Morrow Press)
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
How to be your accountant’s best friend
In this article I am assuming that you, the reader are a solo entrepreneur who runs a home based business.
If we held a straw poll right now, I would bet that 9 out of 10 of those surveyed would rather have a root canal than keep track of the stock inventory, sales and accounts paper work in an organized manner so beloved by all accountants.
Yes, I know you can get software like MYOB to do most of this stuff, but really, wouldn’t you rather be out there connecting with your customers, shootin’ the breeze, wheeling and dealing. That’s what it is all about, isn’t it?
Every year you promise yourself that you will not turn up at your accountant’s office with a shoebox full of receipts and cocktail napkins scribbled with orders you took over the phone in your hurry to seal a deal.
I will also point out the obvious that the IRS takes a dim view of people relying on their fuzzy memories when making business expense claims.
Below are some suggestions that you may wish to use so as to avoid the same scenario next year.
If you hate technology and computers, invest in a stack of manila folders. Yep, it is that simple.
Colour code the folders according to:
i) income from clients, shares, property investments, managed funds, inheritance
ii) your utility bills,
iii) advertising costs,
iv) internet service provider, web hosting and domain name purchase costs
v) postage and stationery (as opposed to stationary as in standing still which where you don’t want your business to be)
vi) car repairs and running costs
vii) medical and dental care premiums
viii) car, home and contents insurance costs
ix) income protection insurance
x) supervised childcare fees
xi) accountant’s fees
xii) lawyer’s fees
This is by no means an exhaustive list but you get where I am going with this, yes?
If you secretly fancy yourself a techno geek then step up to the next level and use a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet to track your incoming and outgoings using the same categories as above.
My friend, in the eyes of your accountant your reputation will forever be redeemed because it reduces the amount of time he/she has to spend trawling through your paper trail.
Consequently the shorter billing time segments means that they charge less to prepare your tax statement.
If you are unsure about what expenses constitute a legitimate claim, do not be afraid to ask your accountant.
Remember tax laws are regularly reviewed and new rulings handed down so any CPA worth their salt should keep up to date with new developments.
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
Public Speaking: What You Should Know Before You Open Your Mouth: Part 2
In this post, we will consider the final three don’ts of public speaking.
I have also included some tips on “selling the sizzle” of your message.
4. Enunciate
Unless you are at a ventriloquists’ convention, do relax your jaw muscles and move your lips when you are speaking.
When you slur or drop the endings of words, or swallow the first and/or last consonant of a word will leave people guessing what you’ve just said.
For example, saying “wif ‘im” instead of “with him”.
Mispronouncing words will not win your audience over either. Some commonly heard examples are, “noo-ke-lar” instead of “nuclear” or “aakks” instead of “ask”, or “seveneen” for “seventeen”.
5. Verbal Diarrhoea
We all have a tendency to speaking a lot quicker when the adrenalin is pumping and our hearts are racing.
You have probably spent hours writing and carefully crafting your presentation. Don’t waste this opportunity.
Your listeners have to process what you have just said, especially if it is the start of a logical sequence of ideas. Remember, you are taking them on a journey with you.
As difficult as it may seem at that moment, remember to slow down the speed at which you are giving out information.
In order to avoid looking nervous, pause (count 1 and 2) and then proceed with the next point. Do not be uncomfortable with silence as it is okay to have these breaks in your presentation.
6. Wimp out words
Finish your presentation on a high, and leave your audience believing every word you have just uttered.
When a speaker uses insipid terms such as “well, if things go according to plan..” or “we are hopeful that..” or “it is very possible if…” does not fill them with confidence that you can deliver whatever it is you are selling or pitching to them.
On the other hand when you say “I have every confidence that this service or product I am offering will fully meet your company’s needs..”, it doesn’t leave much doubt in their minds as to what you’ve just said.
Is it a matter of appearing confident and believing in what you are selling? Yes, indeed.
Why?
They sense a strong level of conviction from you.
This brings me to the “sizzle selling” aspect.
When you walk past a food stand selling ribs on hot coals, what hits you first? Is it the smell of hickory smoke on the barbeque, or the aroma of the ribs and that sizzling sound of the sweet and sticky marinade dripping on the glowing coals.
I put it to you that it is the whole deal (and by the way, did that description make your mouth water?).
Let’s say that you are selling a service of delivering home cooked meals to busy executive women with families. It would be dead boring if your said precisely that.
When you pitch to these women the valuable time they can share with their husband and kids instead of being stuck in the kitchen after a 10 hour day in their jobs, everything takes on a new perspective.
You follow up by saying that you have planned for them highly nutritious two course meals for each evening of the working week. These meals only require 15 mins in the oven and dinner is ready. Of course desserts are available as an added option.
The guilt factor they may have had about neglecting their family just went out the door.
Is the cost of this service the predominant factor in their minds when they are tossing up whether or not to take you up on your offer?
What do you think?
You have engaged them at an emotional level, and remember that in any competition between the heart and head, the heart always wins.
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
Adapted from Excelle.Monster.com
Public Speaking: What you should know before you open your mouth (Part1)
I am preparing a seminar where I will address an audience of professionals, predominantly male members of the medical fraternity. The room screams dark suits (single breasted), cuff links, polished leather pumps and old school ties.
I check that my Powerpoint slides are in the correct sequence, with text of a size that can be easily read by people seated at the back of the auditorium.
As I go through a mental rehearsal of my presentation, I think of the occasions when I was an audience member and how I formed my impression of the speaker the moment he/she opened their mouth.
The first 10 seconds are crucial-I will either pay attention or mentally switch off based on their opening stanza (don’t you love the opera/theatre analogy).
It is a given that the speaker is dressed appropriately for the occasion. I don’t know about you but I find that women (or men) who wear a lot of jewellery especially metal bracelets that jangle with the slightest movement to be a distraction.
Folks, you want to sell the message here, not have their concentration broken each time you wave your hand.
Similarly with ear rings-leave the big gold hoops to the gypsies at carnivals.
Your speech pattern: Listening to a presentation that is unpracticed and stilted is similar to reading a document that has punctuations at inappropriate points.
It does not make sense and it irritates the person listening to you.
There are 6 fundamental don’ts that will help you present in a professional manner, 3 of which are covered in Part1.
1. Filler words:
Starting a sentence with non-words such as “err,” “um,” “ah,” “you know,” or “like” indicates to the listener that you are nervous and unprepared. It is a pity if you really know your subject matter but come across as lacking in confidence in your material.
To avoid this, pause, breath and smile. Then pick one person in the front row and speak to them as if they were the only person in the room.
When you regain your composure, look around and address another person and so on.
The “pause and breath” method is also a good strategy when you lose your trend of thought.
2. Rising inflection:
A rising inflection at the end of every sentence makes you sound like you are asking a question rather than stating a fact. (When I hear this, I am almost compelled to give you an answer!).
It is important that you come across as the authority on that subject, and not tentative nor timid especially if you are making an important pitch for business.
By bringing your intonation down at the end of a sentence you appear more in control and certainly more convincing.
3. Grammatical errors:
In a casual or social setting, informality may be the norm. However, the usage of incorrect grammar during a presentation will cause the audience to question your educational background.
Using phrases such as “youse” for “you” or “ain’t” for “isn’t” and “he don’t,” for “he doesn’t” are not appropriate.
Do yourself a favour and speak in complete sentences. Even better, make sure that the tenses agree.
Next post I will cover the other 3 don’ts and tips on “selling the sizzle” of your message.
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
(Adapted from Excelle.Monster.Com)
Financial Freedom Mindset and You: Aspire and Emulate
If you want (aspire) to be wealthy, then copy (emulate) what wealthy people do, say, think and observe how they behave.
If you think this is a drag, then continue as you are and do not be surprised that your circumstances and bank balance remain the same.
One characteristic of successful people is that they have acquired a reading habit.
Success doesn’t leave cryptic clues but blatant and obvious signs. Case in point: I once heard a multi millionaire marketer say that “Leaders are Readers”.
Hey, when they offer free advice, take it.
This weekend head off to your community library and borrow a book.
Not just any book but take yourself to the biography section and load up on the stories of people (dead or alive) who have made, and in some cases lost and regained their fortunes. It is hard to go past the biographies of Donald Trump, Warren Buffet and Richard Branson.
Just to round out your education, pick biographies of people who are leaders in the very tangible sense of the word such as Gen Colin Powell. He of the Operation Desert Storm fame tells of his humble beginnings and how he rose to the top as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. My interpretation of his message is that if he can, anyone is able to do the same.
Or people who did not give up after what the average person would call having given it a red hot go and then still falling short of the mark. President Abraham Lincoln is the character who comes to mind (I won’t spoil it for you but the teaser is that he failed more than a couple of times to get elected to public office).
The other option is even more fun-approach a successful person (read millionaire) in the same field or business as yours and invite them to lunch or dinner (and pay for the meal!).
This may be a bit daunting for you but it is exactly what I did. I figured that if I extended the invitation and got a flat “No”, it’s not going to kill me-tomorrow the sun will still rise and set.
I took this millionaire couple to dinner, and had a first hand opportunity to ask them questions about their approach and outlook to running their business. The information I got was priceless.
And you know what, they are just normal and nice people like you and me.
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
Putting Your Best Foot Forward
On meeting another person for the first time, we are judged (fairly or otherwise) by our appearances and then when we open our mouths.
When you think of ducking down to the local 7Eleven for milk and the newspapers on a lazy Sunday morning, the dress code is informal-think jeans, sneakers and a sweater.
In an amusing account by an Australian woman living in France with her French beau, she described the horrified look on his face, when she was about to step out to the boulangerie for breakfast provisions (dressed in a casual manner).
French women would not dream of going to the shops sooo unprepared to face the world. Oh no, they present themselves in their best possible light and ladies that means make up and co-ordinated fashion and accessories, at the minimum.
If you work on the principle that any and everyone you meet is a prospect and potential client, ask yourself how you want them to see you?
I will pre-empt you by saying that the previous statement does not imply that you are going out there with an ulterior motive of taking financial advantage of the unsuspecting. This is hardly the case.
As an illustration, if you are tired, grumpy in the grocery store check out queue, you may be forgiven for being a bit short with the young person packing your groceries.
However, that young person’s parents may also require your services or business should you meet them socially at a barbeque, for instance.
Imagine your surprise when you enter their home to find that young check out person lives there.
There can be a couple of scenarios here,
i) there is awkward silence when you recall how you spoke to that person at the store or
ii) absolute delight that he/she remembers you as the nice person who took the time to have a little chat with them as they were scanning your box of Cheerios.
So this is what I usually do: 1) smile and make eye contact, 2) comment on how busy or quiet things are in the store, 3) engage them in a conversation, usually around the fact that they are earning whilst studying at university or college, and 4) say bye bye.
Now, that wasn’t so hard and it certainly made me feel better. Try it.
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
Financial Freedom, Mindset and You Part 4
Financial Freedom Mindset and You Recapping Part 3
(Parts 1-3 were titled, “You and Your Money”)
I described a real situation where a young Australian couple realized that it was their old mindset that had prevented them from accepting that they could become wealthy by receiving passive income. When the penny dropped, they quickly found a technique to smash past that obstacle and today are millionaires and are continuing to grow their multi million dollar business.
We have all heard of affirmations. Pick up any self development book that line the shelves of your bookstore and you can bet that there is at least a chapter devoted to this topic.
In essence, these are short positive sentences stated in the present tense, that when repeated daily are designed to bring about change for the better in your life.
Well, if this is so easy to do, why aren’t more people using affirmations to become happier, healthier, wealthier individuals?
When you are instructed to spring out of bed first thing in the morning with unbridled enthusiasm, and told to recite, “I am making $100, 000 a year” (when you are currently earning $30, 000 per annum), a little voice in your head says “Dream on, buddy. What makes you think you can make $100, 000?”
Herein lies the rub: Your thoughts and feelings determine your actions and your actions repeated become habits. In turn your habits drive your daily activities, which determine your results (in every facet of your life).
The key here is how you see yourself.
Remember, you cannot outperform your self image.
If you think and feel (that is the operative phrase) that you do not deserve something in life, then you will not get it. This is despite your conscious mind saying that you do want to do well in your career, life, relationship etc.
The analogy I use is that of a ship with sails (conscious mind) that has dropped anchor (subconscious mind).
If both conscious and subconscious minds are not in harmony or in sync, all the effort and good intentions (think wind in your sails=conscious mind) will not get you from where you are presently to where you want to be simply because you are still anchored (sub conscious mind) to the spot.
The programming you picked up well before you turned 7 is the basis for the behaviors that still drives you today. In other words, a 7 year old runs your life, and this may explain why you do the things you as an adult do today that might not be too helpful in achieving your life goals.
So, back to the couple I mentioned in Part 3, or more specifically the husband who we shall call Andrew.
Andrew, as a child broke his arm whilst playing on the monkey bars in a park, after being told not to (which kid does as he is told?). He then found himself in the hospital corridor waiting to be examined by a doctor.
In his impressionable young mind he saw the doctors and nurses who hurried by as people who were obviously intelligent, and remote. They were formidable and daunting figures to a young child who was also in a great deal of pain.
Andrew made the association that he wasn’t bright compared to these people. He then proceeded to prove that by failing his high school exams.
His circumstances changed when he met Paul and Mary Blackburn, founders of Beyond Success, a personal development company.
Through a 20 minute exercise and meditation, Andrew took himself back to that point in time, as a frightened distressed child in a hospital, and re scripted his experience of the event to one which was positive and calming.
The change in his self image was startling, as Andrew then went on to law school and completed his degree with distinctions.
Similarly, when Andrew and his wife were not making headway with their goal of becoming financially independent, they applied this exercise to identify the obstacle that was in their path to realizing their dream.
They made the paradigm shift from having to toil for money and that making money demanded hard graft, to being okay with receiving income passively. It was as simple as that.
Please contact me for more details regarding this exercise and meditation.
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
Not Settling for Second Best
“ Very few people are going after what they truly want in life. Most people settle for what they think they can get.”- Bob Proctor
I felt sad when I read Bob’s observation of the human condition. It said to me that there are an inordinate number of people telling themselves that it is okay to settle for second best.
You did not come into this world to be second best- in my previous 15 years in science with 10 years as a medical scientist I can tell you that during the 38 or so weeks required to assemble you from the ground up, (at the molecular level from bits of DNA from your biological parents), a MILLION things could have gone wrong.
From not being up to scratch (hence having the plug pulled in utero) to not making it into this world with all your fingers, toes and faculties intact.
But here you are, a living, breathing, sentient being perfect in every way BUT only just getting by?
It is not exactly what was intended for you, was it now?
So my question to you is why are you not performing at 100 % and getting what you truly want in life.
Did somebody veto your plans, did they tell you that you can’t and didn’t it ever occur to you to ask, “Why not, why can’t I have what I truly want?”
And here’s the clincher, when they gravely (but with a whiff of triumph) intoned their pronouncement as to why, did you have to accept their explanation?
It’s your life and you can do whatever you like.
That includes ignoring the pessimists the naysayers, the glum people who can suck the oxygen out of a room simply by being around you.
So, think of the creative ways you can stand up for yourself, take control and go after what you truly want in life.
Yes, you will create waves and upset some people along the way, but given the choice would you rather have your spirit languish for the sake of “not making a fuss” or do you want to stand tall and claim your right to a place in the sun.
Here’s Vanessa Amorosi’s song “This is who I am” for a dose of defiance and perhaps you may want to use it as your anthem for the next week.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEZf6gLnL3c
Yours in health, wealth and happiness
That’s What Friends Are For
Remember when Stevie Wonder, Luther Vandross, Dionne Warwick and Whitney Houston sang this number?
There was not a dry eye in the house and for good reason; other than yourself the next best thing to have around is a best friend.
I am not referring to acquaintances, but real and genuine people you’d want to spend time with and vice versa.
We all have or had one as we were growing up and some of these people have stayed in touch until today whilst others were THE best friend at a specific time in our lives.
It is said that we are known by the company or friends we keep so pause for a moment and think of the qualities we want in our friend(s). Note how many of these reflect our own values.
Here are some of the qualities I wish for in a friend: dependability, thoughtfulness, loyalty, trustworthiness, honesty, kindness and a keen sense of humor.
Extrapolating from these are also ones that support a healthy lifestyle for example, fans of physical fitness, and a sense of culinary adventure and unafraid of trying new exotic cuisines.
Finally, ones that indicate a positive attitude towards life, for instance, the ability to bounce back quickly after a setback and who do not seek to blame others or circumstances for lives that are less than happy and fulfilled.
In a round about way I am referring to intrinsic and extrinsic values that shape our self image. Now remind yourself that you cannot out perform your self image.
Warren Buffett had this to say on the topic of friends:
”I like having an expensive private plane, but owning a half-dozen homes would be a burden,” Buffett noted. ”Too often, a vast collection of possessions ends up possessing its owner. The asset I most value, aside from health, is interesting, diverse, and long-standing friends.”
Maybe that is why he is such an extraordinary multi billionaire investor.
Yours in health, wealth and happiness